Rating: 2/5
Director Robert Clouse is perhaps best known for his Bruce Lee films, Enter the Dragon and Game of Death, the latter of which came out after Bruce Lee’s death. This film makes the stunning decision to blend martial arts with gymnastics, which means he flips and pommel horse spins on cisterns between kicks and punches.
This movie was in development for so long that Universal initially developed it with Rock Hudson in mind as the lead. Though Hudson died the year this came out, his dead body would’ve had more charisma than Kurt Thomas.
I genuinely thought they weren’t going to give Tetchie Agbayani any lines, but she was finally allowed one 16 minutes in.
It takes an hour, but this movie gets pretty fucked up! If only the other 2/3 of the film was anything like it. But, like, who is this movie for??
- Wedding ring! Good for him :)
- The big reveal is that he’s doing this all alone in an abandoned Circuit City.
- Ah, the beautiful fishhead rendering plant.
- Can’t a guy calibrate his audio equipment to Pretzel Logic in peace?
- So this is CrossFit, huh?
- Can you beat up a portcullis?
- Finally, the introduction of Jim Kata