Rating: 1.5/5
Cult Movie Challenge 2017 | 22/52 | PM Entertainment
Carrie Wink is a hotshot helicopter pilot for hire in the highrise metropolis of LA. She and her detective husband, Gordon, have perfectly competent softcore sex, but Carrie wants a baby.
Fairfax is a criminal mastermind who loves to quote Shakespeare at inappropriate times. He and his cronies are after some circuit boards that, when connected, will somehow change everything.
Carrie charters Fairfax to the Zitex building, unaware of his plans to take the place hostage and obtain the final circuit board. Looks like it’s up to Carrie to save the day. And don’t worry, if you thought it would be illogical for Carrie to know how to use a gun, we cut back to a scene where her husband teaches her to shoot and then gropes her enormous breasts.
After watching To the Limit, I hoped for a similar experience here. While both movies are awful, this one makes the mistake of trying to Die Hard, putting much of the movie’s action in Anna Nicole Smith’s hands. She commits to the role and gives it her all, but I felt sympathy for all they ask of her more than anything.
This movie also has an SA scene that seems only to exist to follow the rules of comedy and show Smith’s breasts a third time. It’s a deeply upsetting scene, which I guess props to the filmmakers because SA should be upsetting onscreen.
Charles M. Huber is such a wacko as Fairfax that we couldn’t tell what accent he was trying to imitate. Looking it up, he’s a German politician in real life, and he was trying to imitate a South African accent, which is hard enough without the endless supply of Shakespeare quotes.
The first act was so entertaining, and the movie fell off hard, making this a more unpleasant than enjoyable watch. It has moments throughout, but this one is bad enough that I’d reserve it for folks with a high tolerance for crap or people who have no reservations about making fun of Anna Nichole Smith (which excluded us).