Rating: 2/5
Wow, I never thought I’d watch another David Giancola movie other than Time Chasers. Time makes fools of us all, don’t it? This is the prototype for the 2-star movie—more bad than good, but not incapable of entertaining, especially with Bruce Campbell and Stacy Keach getting a non-trivial amount of screen time.
This is the first time I’ve heard the entire Rifftrax theme. I can see why they cut it more and more over the years.
- Ah, yes. Andrew Sutherland’s Ninth Symphony, Ode to Joy. I’ve always been a fan.
- If you want bootleg Family Guy merch, I can hook you up.
- I don’t make garbage. I burn it. (I forgot about this schoolyard diss)
- Phone his grieving family and tell them he’s a popsicle by now.
- If you plan on milking these Holsteins, you’ll have to get through me first.
- — Look at this radioactive bad boy. — That’s what Marie Curie called Pierre in the bedroom.
- We want this calm and powerful, like Tilda Swinton.
- Every biathlete in the audience is getting a huge boner right now.
- Sandra! Answers me! Or text me! I’m pretty flexible!