Rating: 2.5/5
Cult Movie Challenge 2017 | 12/52 | Albert Pyun
Titus Cromwell, King of Aragon, rows ashore to Tomb Island, a “rocky crag perched at the far edge of the world.” Cromwell enters a tomb with a soldier and a woman whom Cromwell calls a witch to awaken the long-dead sorcerer, Xusia of Delos. Cromwell asks Xusia to help him to recover the land of Ehdan, the wealthiest kingdom in the world. The soldier demands a demonstration of Xusia’s powers. The creature sends the witch, his servant, colliding into the wall and psychically rips out her heart. Xusia will help Cromwell take Ehdan and take what he sees as rightfully his.
Cromwell’s armies, led by Xusia, cross into Ehdan and slaughter countless soldiers. With all but one army gone, Cromwell decides to kill Xusia before he becomes too powerful. He stabs the weary Xusia and pushes him off a cliff. Richard receives word of the invasion from his son, Tavis, cursed to death by black magic. Richard orders his family’s evacuation, arming his now-only son, Talon, with a three-bladed sword. Talon escapes, but his mother and father die at Cromwell’s hands.
Talon will have his vengeance, and so will the still-living Xusia. Did I mention that Talon’s three-bladed sword shoots the swords like projectiles?
The movie has no breathing room, with every scene being epic. If the whole film is epic moments, they start to feel less… epic, you know? Still, if the script sucks, like this one does, then making a movie of just the epic moments might be the best choice.
The biggest issue is that its relatively low budget overshadows the movie’s ambitions. While we get some cool gore effects, we don’t see much magic. The film makes up for it a bit with some legit set pieces—the face-covered altar and an underground throne.
Looks, can anyone in this movie act? No. Are the costumes, hair, and makeup laughable? Yes. But I wasn’t bored and can’t say that for many sword and sorcery flicks.
** Stray Thoughts / Spoilers **
- I like the guard who looks like Cliff from Cheers
- Lee Horsley has the swagger of a much more talented actor. Honestly, props.
- Is there a straight actor in this movie? No one is playing gay, and it’s amusing.
- Hell yeah, Talon’s gonna invent democracy real quick.
- Richard Lynch is going for that Oscar. By that, I mean he chews the fuck out of the scenery.
- Poor Kathleen Beller
- Talon, our hero, will save Alana’s brother if she fucks him. Jesus.
- Oh shit, she’s also Cromwell’s bride??
- Did they add dog bark sfx to the rat invasion??
- Of course, he has to fall into the harem chamber. And, of course, he makes out with one of the harem.
- Stronger than Jesus, he pulls himself off the cross.
- The slow-mo moments are silly but kind of epic!
- Okay, Xusia’s transformation is pretty fun and gross