Rating: 2/5
Most things in life, good and bad, just happen to you.
Brian Flanagan, a recently discharged army member, gets a ride from his fellow soldiers to catch a bus to New York City, his hometown. He reads a book titled How to Turn Your Idea into a Million Dollars, hoping to learn the secrets held in this mass-market trade paperback. Brian arrives at Pat’s Place, run by his Uncle Pat, and Brian immediately starts critiquing the place. Pat asks about Brian’s plans, and Brian leaves it vague, “Make a million,” so Brian says he’ll work with McDougal to get Brian a job, just like Brian’s father. But Brian refuses to become his father.
Brian heads to Wall Street to get a high-powered business job. He talks about his drive and how he reads the Journal. But without that college degree, Brian’s going to get bupkis. He passes a bar looking for help, where he meets Doug Coughlin. Brian assumes the job will be simple. Doug allows him to learn otherwise. Brian pulls off his sweat-drenched socks at the night’s end, feeling defeated. But Doug gives him the gig.
While bartending, Brian starts business school to get that coveted college degree. The economics go over Brian’s head, but the bartending flairs come like second nature. And just like that, Brian is crushing it. But all the late nights are leaving him falling asleep in class. But Doug has dreams of his own—maybe they can make them happen together in Jamaica.
Or maybe this movie will turn into a cucking contest.
Heywood Gould wrote a semi-autobiographical novel about his experiences bartending in New York. The book focuses on an older guy who started bartending when he was younger. As the years went on, he kept bartending and felt like his life was passing him by.
Gould wrote the screenplay that would become this movie, going through several changes. First, when Universal picked it up, they wanted a more likable protagonist. Then, when Disney took over, they wanted a younger protagonist. Finally, when Tom Cruise got the lead role, the script had to change further to protect his image, taking away most of the bite of the original novel. It makes sense why Gould directed what he wrote from this movie on.
So, instead of the Paul Schrader-esque character study of the novel, we get a fluffy, misogynist blip of a movie. The film is such a bizarre fantasy where being a bartender is the single sexiest thing you can do as a human. Then again, look like young Tom Cruise, and it may be true.
Bryan Brown is a good actor who brings massive energy to the role. Tom Cruise has a charming smile and energy but no character to work off of. Gina Gershon brought her ability to meld into any tone, just like she later did in Showgirls.
However, this movie’s worst contribution to culture was the song Kokomo by The Beach Boys. That song was everywhere in my childhood, including in my head. It’s a good day when I don’t have to hear that song. Oh my god, this soundtrack sucks.
There are worse ways to spend your time than watching hot people make out and simulate sex in exotic locales. But nearly 2 hours of it with such unlikeable characters tests anyone’s patience.