Rating: 1.5/5
Anti-Criterion Challenge 2024 | 50/52 | Holiday horror for any holiday
We open in the year 1621, after the first Thanksgiving. A nipple fills the screen. We zoom out to a pilgrim woman hiding behind a tree. And yes, her breasts are out. She breaks into a run, chased by something with purple Predator vision. She trips on a rock. When she looks up, she sees Turkie, a talking turkey wielding a tomahawk, who says, “Nice tits, bitch,” before killing her.
Cut to the present day, on the Loyola Marymount University campus. Billy runs out of a building and rips his shirt, exhilarated to be on Thanksgiving break. Johnny walks out behind him and shakes his head with a smile — classic Billy. Ali sees and wishes to join in, so she lifts her shirt to show off her bra. Kristen shames her, saying, “It’s Thanksgiving, not Titsgiving.” Darren runs up to join the group. Johnny tries to give him a high five, but Darren reaches for a handshake. The five college students pile into Johnny’s Jeep to head home for the holiday.
Meanwhile, Oscar lets his dog out to pee. The dog finds a totem pole to pee on, waking Turkie, who kills the dog. The college student’s Jeep breaks down, so they camp in Crawberg for the night. Darren recognizes the town name and tells us how Turkie came to be.
Will these kids survive Turkie’s wrath? Or will they figure out a way to stop him in time? Do you care?
Look, this is a $3500 student film, with only porn star Wanda Lust getting paid to be in it. Everyone else is a friend or family member of the filmmakers. The script riffs on holiday slasher conventions, if you could call this riffing.
The lack of real actors sometimes makes the cutaways funny, as we’ll see someone with a dead face waiting for their turn to speak.
Overall, this movie isn’t funny. It suffers from 2008’s tolerance of every slur except the n-word, which is often The Joke. But every once in a while, it pulled a laugh out of me, intentionally or otherwise.