Rating: 1.5/5
A strange energy emanates from the Ecuadorian Andes. Burt and Eli amble along, huffing oxygen and lagging far behind their guide, Juan. They catch up to Juan, only for him to slip between two rocks, leading the men through hand-made walls and up hard-carved stairs to an altar. Eli shoots Juan as Burt takes a crowbar to the altar, unveiling a glowing pyramid-shaped structure. Eli places his hands on the structure. Suddenly, he is speaking in a foreign tongue. Burt tries to pull him off, but a charge of energy throws Burt to the ground. Eli fades away, leaving the perplexed Burt alone.
Hustlers line the streets of LA. A man enters the Department of Para-Normal Studies, where he joins a room full of people, each sitting at a table with two scientists and demonstrating their psychic abilities. Nick Deezy touches knives and recalls their histories. Syliva Pickel predicts a day in advance that the scientist will draw an elephant. Sylvia’s a regular, but this is Nick’s first visit.
After several scenes demonstrating how people abuse Nick and Sylvia’s abilities, Sylvia comes home to find Harry Buscafusco raiding her fridge. He’s there with $50 thousand and a job offer: to travel with him to Ecuador to find his missing son. For whatever reason, Sylvia recruits Nick to come along with her.
Boy, this script is a mess. The dialogue has the aching desire to be funny or clever, but it dodges both with graceless fervor. The first act has its charms, with its array of screwball characters, but that isn’t the movie. It’s a Maguffin-finding adventure with a touch of psychic powers. So, like, every movie that comes out these days.
Everyone’s doing their best with the material. Jeff Goldblum is the erratic asshole he always is — I’ve yet to see him in a comedic role that I liked him in. Cyndi Lauper is Cyndi Lauper. Peter Falk is the most manic I’ve ever seen him. Goldblum and Lauper supposedly hated each other while working on this. Regardless, they have zero chemistry.
I like the production design — the matte paintings and sets are cool. Otherwise, I’m having a difficult time figuring out anything else I like about it. I’m sorry! I don’t mean to be a hater!
Oh, wait, I appreciate that when channeling a Hispanic man, Jeff Goldblum didn’t put on an accent.