Rating: 2.5/5
Hooptober 2.0 | 25/31 | Slasher 5/5
In Lyndon B. Johnson’s America, an ice cream truck sits on the curb. A car drives up to the truck and shoots it full of bullets, killing the titular Ice Cream King. The Ice Cream King falls from the car, holding a push-up pop. Young Gregory Tudor strides up to the dead body, takes the push-up pop, and sits down next to the body to enjoy his frozen treat. A spatter of blood adorns his face as his mother runs screaming out of the house to him. When she asks if he’s okay, he replies,
Who’s gonna bring the ice cream, mommy?
Cut to the present day, 1995. Dressed in a jean vest, Roger chases down the ice cream truck. Who is the ice cream man? Why, it’s Gregory Tudor, all grown up. In deference to the fallen Ice Cream King, Gregory goes by Ice Cream Prince. Gregory’s gruff and off-putting, trying to jest with the kids the way the Ice Cream King might. But in William J. Clinton’s America, everything is Poochie — except for ice cream men.
Back home that night, Gregory’s landlord’s dog, Dinky, barks at the ice cream man. He produces a push-up pop. But when he pulls down the sleeve, a blade unveils. Nurse Wharton, Gregory’s orderly and landlord, hears the barking outside subside, replaced with pained whimpering. She goes to check on the dog and finds Gregory in the window with blood on his face. He claims it’s grenadine, and she cheerfully accepts it. He puts the dog in a wood chipper.
At a kid named Johnny’s house, his mother receives a phone call that little Roger Smith is missing. The following day, the police stop Gregory’s ice cream truck to ask about the missing kid. The detective also orders two scoops of rocky road. Inside Gregory’s freezer, we see buckets of bloody mystery meat covered in cute little white mice. Gregory pulls a retina from an eyeball, to mix into the ice cream. We watch the detective bite into the ice cream and let the retina dance on his tongue.
The kids suspect Gregory may have something to do with Roger’s disappearance. But the kids learn more about the Ice Cream Prince than they bargained for.
The film explores childhood trauma and the myriad ways parents fuck up their kids. Every kid has parents with some issues. Some are as straightforward as a cheating husband. One kid has a mother ostensibly possessed by the archangel Gabriel, who speaks through her in spittle and whelps. Focusing on the kids makes the adult problems feel trivial and silly, while the kids’ concerns are grave and life-or-death. It’s a fun inversion.
We regularly enter Gregory’s dreams of his time in the sanitarium, complete with a John Wayne Gacy clown and Nurse Wharton feeding him ice cream. I guess we’re supposed to get an insight into what fucked him up, but I can’t tell if these are accurate memories or dream logic.
The movie’s humor isn’t to my taste, especially Clint Howard’s raspy intensity. But as it continued, I softened to it and even chuckled aloud a few times. At one point, we visit the sanitarium where Gregory went, and I genuinely can’t tell what tone they’re going for. Aspects of it seem like it is supposed to be humorous, but it’s just sad.
I can’t tell if this movie is supposed to be for kids or if it’s lampooning 80s kid-friendly horror. I think that lack of clarity is why this only found an audience among horror nerds. Like, there’s a joke where, after killing a woman, the ice cream man finds a diaphragm. No kid is going to get that. Hell, today, most people under 40 won’t get it.
The same director as Edward Penishands directed this under an alias. I had to dig to figure out that Paul Norman and Norman Apstein are the same person. Hence, how a “onetime director” made this mid-budget, competently constructed film.
The film is a bit of a mess, but it has enough charm to keep me from hating it. Tubi has a RiffTrax version of this that I might check out in the future, even though I think riffing on movies intended to be comedies is a fool’s errand.
** SPOILER TALK ** The last 20 minutes totally undermined the direction the rest of the movie was going! It hinted that the ice cream man, in his demented way, was protecting the kids — hence, why he kills the creepy dude in the park. But nope, he just kills — well, except for Small Paul who “understands” him. Until he doesn’t.