Rating: 3/5
Hooptober 4.0 | 2/31 | Sequels 2/6
Edna and Harold own a lakefront store. Edna is the stereotypical nagging wife, complete with hair curlers. Harold slacks on his work and chores and eats food off the shelves. That’s lucky for Jason, as he pulls some of their clothes off the clothesline to change.
For some reason, we have to watch and listen to Harold take a shit before Jason shoves a meat cleaver into his chest. He inserts something into the back of Edna’s head.
Cut to Chris, pregnant Debbie, Debbie’s boyfriend Andy, prankster Shelly, and Shelly’s blind date, Vera. They find stoners Cheech and Chong — I mean Chuck and Chili, crumbling herb in the back of their van. They’re on a trip to Chris’ family home on Crystal Lake for the weekend.
On a dirt road, they almost run over a guy named Abel, who is sleeping on the road. When they check on him, he shows them an eyeball he found.
He wanted me to warn you! Look upon this omen and go back from whence ye came! I have warned thee!
He puts the eyeball up to the camera. I’m assuming it’s a 3D thing.
The movie uses the recurring motif of a dead rabbit to signal danger — not subtle, but these are not subtle movies.
This movie is so formulaic that I should be bored. On the contrary, it’s so predictable that it’s a little comforting?
** Stray Thoughts / Spoilers **
- I wish I could watch this in 3D, but it would be a lot of yo-yos and popcorn, so I’m not missing much.
- Rick is horny and fit as fuck
- Shelly’s pranks are so elaborate
- Andy’s handstands
- Reading Fangoria
- 3D eyeball