Rating: 2.5/5
Hooptober 5.0 | 28/32 | Barbara Crampton
Ready or Not for straights
Erik (Larry Fessenden) has mid sex with Talia (Kate Lyn Sheil) and then takes a shower. When he gets out, he finds the words “You’re Next” written in blood on the mirror. He sees Talia dead on the floor. An assailant in a lamb mask kills Erik with a machete.
Aubrey (Barbara Crampton) and Paul (Rob Moran) arrive at their vacation home and prepare for the guests to arrive. They’re hosting a family reunion.
Crispian (AJ Bowan) brings his girlfriend, Erin (Sharni Vinson). He’s embarrassed by his wealthy fascist parents. Boo hoo.
Once the other guests arrive, they sit down to dinner. A crossbow fires through the window, and masked intruders start their game.
Lucky for (some of) them, Erin is a bit of a survivalist.
I realized as I was watching that I’d seen this before. Still, I remembered so little that I was fine revisiting it. That should have been enough of a hint.
Adam Wingard isn’t a good director. Look at him now — he’s doing uninspired Godzilla x Kong movies.
The improvised conversations about filmmaking are so dull. I get it: almost everyone involved is a filmmaker. The improv, in general, is shallow filler.
Also, killing your three best actors in the first 30 is unexpected, but it also brings down the caliber of the remaining hour.
The movie may have felt more revelatory when it came out over a decade ago. Today, home invasion needs to do more than exist to warrant attention.
Rob Moran sounds like Greg from Succession.