Rating: /5
Hooptober 5.0 | 27/32 | Inanimate Object Comes Alive
Aww shit — I'm being eaten alive
Aubrey Beardsley lives behind a painting condemned to immortality.
A couple opens the gate to the estate. Aubrey is afraid they will wake him.
When they get inside, they find a four-poster bed. The guy pulls the blankets back, lights a candle, and invites her girl into his arms. They set out food for a small picnic.
While they’re making out, a foam builds and consumes the apple. It pulls the wine and fried chicken into the bed and consumes them. Finally, the bed consumes the couple.
Aubrey watches in horror, unable to intervene. He watches each victim’s plight through individual vignettes.
This movie is the correct definition of a cult movie. It didn’t receive a physical release until 2003. Before then, folks shared it through bootleg VHS tapes. Writer/Directo George Barry didn’t know of any bootlegs until he saw them mentioned in a forum in 2001.
The sets are so sparse. It looks like a stage.
Why is there a real playwright behind the painting? Is he there to provide a commentary on what the bed is thinking? But why an actual person??
Dream of bugs in porridge.
The bed uses a woman’s cross necklace to cut into her neck so it can taste her blood. Then, it submerges her in its foamy bile.
This movie is so fucking odd — card games with words written are the cards or a book of the dead with empty pages.
The pacing is terrible, and the acting is whatever — this is a categorically bad movie. It makes so many bizarre choices that I love, but it’s so tedious.
I don’t know!