Rating: 3.5/5
Hooptober 7.0 | 29/32 | black director or predominantly black cast or lead 2/2
CW // Murder, Blood, Viscera, Torture, Vomit, Misogyny, Sex
Frank (William Sadler) speeds down a New Mexico road. The Collector (Billy Zane) follows close behind. The fuel gauge is empty. Frank turns his car perpendicular to the road and shoots at The Collector’s car. The car catches fire but doesn’t slow. Frank jumps out as the car collides with his car, exploding into a heap of fire and metal.
Filter’s Hey Man Nice Shot plays as Frank hobbles into the New Mexico desert. He makes it to the town of Wormwood. Uncle Willy (Dick Miller) finds Frank and shares some of his hooch. Willy offers Frank a place to stay at a church converted into a boarding house, where a merry band of misfits live together.
Deputy Bob and Sherriff Tupper find the wreckage.
— Them sons of bitches must have been doing well over a hundred to make a mess like this. — Well, Bob, it's too late to give them a ticket. But, if it'll make you feel any better, you can shoot their ashes.
The Collector emerges and warns them about Frank — that Frank is a dangerous thief of an ancient relic. They go to the boarding house to arrest Frank. They find the relic and try to arrest both Frank and The Collector. So, The Collector punches through Tupper’s face and rips his head off, causing Irene to puke. Frank takes the relic and presses it to The Collector’s face, which sends him away.
The Collector condemns the property, spilling his neon green blood on the ground. The blood oozes and emits flames, congealing together into demons — tortured slaves of hell. So, Frank rallies them — so long as they stick together, they’ll make it through the night. But The Collector has a few tricks up his sleeve.
The movie’s lore is extensive. It’s weird and sacrilegious, and I love it.
All the practical effects look good enough and are so much fun. It’s super gory. I love mid-90s goop. The Crypt Keeper may have had some digital effects, but it’s not overt.
This ends up being a demonic Assault on Precinct 13, which rules.
** Stray Thoughts / Spoilers **
- I swear I’m not actively seeking Dick Miller movies — he’s in everything!
- There’s a flashback to the crucifixion. The blood in the key is Jesus’ blood.
- Frank fought in WWI?
- Frank gives them the story and starts with Genesis. The darkness wasn’t empty — it was full of demons! The keys bring back the darkness.
- The temptation scenes are so neat.
- If Billy Zane hit on me, I would simply do everything he asked.
- Kid and Willy are reading “Tales from the Crypt” comics.
- Willy’s temptation is a room full of topless women drinking scotch.
- Billy Zane’s Dick Miller impersonation is pretty spot on.
- The comic mirroring the events is neat.
- The Crypt Keeper asked for final cut, so they decapitated him.