Rating: 1.5/5
Cult Movie Challenge 2016 | 22/52 | PM Entertainment
Arthur Jameson pulled some light war crimes during the Vietnam War. He’s out to cover his tracks and kill anyone who knows. This includes his partner, China Smith, and Sergent Frank DaVinci, who carried out some assassinations on his behalf.
Frank is getting married to Lupe.
China is running late because his girlfriend, Colette, is masturbating in the bath. They get ready, but China wants to fuck before they go to the wedding. They run to the car, but Colette runs back in. The car explodes, killing China.
As Frank and Lupe leave the service, gunmen shoot Frank and Lupe, as well as several innocent bystanders. Frank survives and goes to Vegas.
Colette takes out some would-be assassins and goes into hiding.
Three months later, Colette finds Frank in Vegas. She reveals she was working with China and that she’s a CIA agent. And that Arthur Jameson is her boss.
This movie is a sequel to DaVinci’s War — no, I haven’t seen it. No, I won’t watch it. Joey Travolta, the older brother of John Travolta, wrote, produced, and co-starred in this project with Anna Nicole Smith.
This movie was Smith’s first starring role. She’d do two more movies with PM Entertainment, including the infamous Skyscraper.
I had a tough time following this movie. I paused and rewinded several scenes to catch names.
The movie has some pretty stellar car stunts and explosions. There’s an incredible scene where Anna Nicole Smith drives a stolen police car backward, shooting at some dudes, pulls a 180, throws a bomb out the window, and drives through a helicopter, causing it to explode.
This movie sucks, but it’s hilarious.
** Stray Thoughts / Spoilers **
- “It was like an atom bomb going on!”
- Jameson interrogates Mona by taking off her Anne Klein top and fondling her breasts.
- “Today, silver was up, gold was up, but pork bellies were down 5 points!”
- When Arthur finds out that China got a copy of the dossier, Arthur shoots his computer.
- Arther engages in some BDSM wax play and whipping, and I guess it’s supposed to make him seem sinister.
- — “Why did god make this happen?” — “We’re not gonna know until we get to heaven someday.”
- “The bad news is, if you got this letter, then I’m playing gin rummy with Jimmy Hoffa. But don’t be sad, because I’m winning.”
- Joey can’t keep his hands off of… everyone. He gets a “Thai style massage” where a woman oils up her boobs and rubs them on his back.
- With 20 minutes left, they sneak in another Anna Nicole Smith shower scene.
- Joey Travolta, writing in a sex scene with Anna Nicole Smith, feels gross. She simulates fellatio on him, and it is upsetting.
- All of her nude scenes are exceptionally exploitative.
- A showdown at Hoover Dam
- Colette throws the disc into Arthur’s face, embedding it into his skin. She shoots him off the edge of the dam!
- RIGHT before the credits roll, Colette reveals her name is Vicky Lynn. Okay, good to know. Bye?