Rating: 3/5
Hooptober 7.0 | 9/32 | 2nd film in franchise 1/7 | Decades 3/6 | 1980s
An astronaut crew returns to Earth after a mission into deep space. A film studio prepares stock footage in case something goes wrong.
Meanwhile, Thelma Joyce rushes to the studio to do a talk show about caving. She discusses a discovery in a Colorado cave but freezes up. She gets a feeling that something bad is happening.
She reaches out to Peter, who tells her to get over it, saying, “It ain’t real, honey.”
— Hey Thelma, how are the stalactites? Still growing? — Like crazy! In two thousand years, they’ll be a foot higher.
A child named Lucy finds a blue pulsating thing on the beach. It approaches. Later, her mother calls for her but cannot find her. She walks behind a dune to see the child sitting next to a blue rock. Her face appears mangled.
Thelma’s caving crew prepares for another trip. On the way, Bert finds a blue stone and gives it to Thelma.
During their exploration, Jill notices that the blue stone in Thelma’s bag is moving. Something erupts from the rock, taking Jill’s face.
Do you think there are “monsters” inside all of us?
This movie is an unofficial sequel to the 1979 classic Alien that slipped in just before Alien became a trademarked franchise. It didn’t receive enough distribution to upset many kids expecting a legit Alien sequel.
A strong indicator you’re watching a terrible movie is how much driving footage it includes. A solid sign that you’re watching a bad Italian movie is if the soundtrack is inexplicably great compared to the film itself.
We watch Thelma’s boyfriend drive her around in her Wagoneer a bunch. We also watch her stand on the shore and wait for a rowboat to come in — no matter how many cuts they make, it’s uninteresting footage.
The caving footage is pretty cool, though!
This movie has the SLOWEST PAN OF ALL TIME! LIKE TWO MINUTES TO GO FROM TOE TO FACE.
But once it goes, it’s pretty good! Do the aliens look like hand puppets? Yes. Do I care? Not really.