Rating: 2/5
Bond, Ranked Bond: The Cold War’s Horniest Spy
Stray Thoughts / Spoilers
- Christopher Lee’s Third Nipple — band name, called it
- The hitman apologizing to the Al Capone wax figurine
- Worst Bond song thus far
- “Who would have me killed?” — Bond. Sweetheart.
- “You really do have a magnificent abdomen”
- Mary Goodnight
- Chew Mee
- Bond gets two handfuls of sumo wrestler ass
- Bond has been trained in the “whatever the fuck he wants” school of martial arts
- Manages to sneak in some racism against Mexicans in a film set in China and Thailand
- Why the FUCK did they bring back the Sheriff from Live and Let Die? Because they had yet another boat scene?
- They do one of their coolest car stunts and they score it with a slide whistle.
- Chekov’s mushroom-shaped rock
- So nice of Bond to convert the temperature to Fahrenheit for the American audience
- It’s always lasers! Diamond-powered lasers, solar-powered lasers
- “I could have shot down your plane before it landed, but that would have been ridiculously easy.” Bond would be dead a hundred times over if he went against someone who didn’t have a massive ego
- Prides himself in shooting ability — drags every target into a funhouse so he can easily shoot them