Witchery (1988)

14 Aug 2023

Rating: 2.5/5

People in this old house are transported to another dimension where they are tortured and murdered. Then the movie says, “fuck it,” traps everyone alive in the house, and starts torturing and murdering them there. Then… ?

The longest 90-minute movie I have seen in a while because it has no arc — shit just happens, but when it does, it’s pretty wild. The special effects are solid, so those scenes stand out and make the movie work

Hasselhoff’s response to every crazy thing that happens is a “what the fuck???” face that is so funny

Linda Blair spends most of the movie just chilling and staring off, and honestly, good for her

The soundtrack tries to do a slightly repetitive motif a la Halloween, but it is so monotonous that I started laughing after a bit

My favorite stunt in the whole world is when a woman jumps through a window, and on the other side is a stuntman in a wig

This is a bad movie, but I love it


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