Rating: 1.5/5
Skinny-dipping couple in a slime-green haze, then the most orange opening credits. Then there’s a woman in the woods with a scar in the shape of a spider, and she seems to kill every man she touches. The locals know to leave her alone, but this dude just can’t get her out of his head. But she doesn’t seem like she wants to kill them, it just happens around her
And there’s some spider expert, and he’s a Nazi or something. And like a painting that was lost during the war. Lumberjack dudes are fighting the main dude. Or maybe they’re Nazis too? I don’t know I lost the plot on this one
Sloppy cinematography — they barely do it by the book. Everything is so muddy and brown-toned — look, I know the 70s were just like that, but this is an especially heinous brown
I saw some dong, and I laughed a couple times, so not a complete waste of time. Maybe it’s good and I’m a dummy!