Pink, Comic Sans credits descend on an LA suburb. Four twentysomething women awaken in their bedrooms and jump on a group webcam chat to cheer each other on as they get dressed for their first year of high school. At the mandatory freshman check-in, rich girl Meredith and her posse are disgusted by the four girls’ fresh sense of fashion and independent spirits. So, she conspires to force them to conform to one of the school’s 48 cliques.
Will Meredith break apart these friends? Or will these Bratz win a talent show or something?
Friendship is a big deal!
This movie has some awful jokes. It also has some jokes so absurd that they turn out pretty funny.
Stray Thoughts
- Written by the same screenwriter as The Lizzie McGuire Movie.
- There’s no version of the Bratz logo larger than 320p
- I’ve now seen half the movies that Logan Browning has been in.
- Yasmin’s younger brother, Manny, styles himself after Nic Cage in Moonstruck.
- A mariachi band has breakfast in Yasmin’s house — this is to remind us that Yasmin is Latina.
- Jade’s mom puts a ton of pressure on her daughter’s extracurriculars. This is to remind us that Jade is half-Chinese.
- The school mascot is Carrie Nation, aka Hatchet Granny, a leading member of the temperance movement. In case this isn’t clear, the school is called Carry Nation High.
- Jon Voight is Principal Dimly — we meet him reading a Dummy’s Guide to running a prison.
- Yasmin dreams of doing chorus, but she messed up a song in Kindergarten and has been scared to try again since.
- The piano teacher teaches Dylan, the deaf piano savant, that he can feel the piano’s vibrations when he puts his hands on it. When that doesn’t work, he teaches Dylan how to scratch vinyl.
- “Blue Danube Waltz” is a fascinating choice to score a food fight scene.
- “I love MySpace!”
- “If I see one more violin-playing contortionist, I am going to scream.”
- Cherish is my favorite. Meditating, “Take me to the happy place. Hurry!”
- — “I’m Bubbie, and I’m a chocoholic” — “[crowd, warmly] Hi, Bubbie.”
- “We got that bratitude, it’s not an attitude.”
- Chekov’s Mariachi Band
- The Bratz song is so unhinged.
- Oh, there are a bunch of Bratz songs.