Grace has been on my mind, in one way or another, my entire holiday trip to Boone. My father is someone I stopped talking to for a few years, but reconnected with a few years back. In that time, I could tell some things had changed — he was respecting my boundaries more, and he was less angry. In other words, it didn’t feel like he was taking my presence for granted.
As we move through life, we write stories in our heads to fill in the gaps of what we don’t understand. For my entire adult life, I have been writing and rewriting the story of who my father is, why he hurt the people he hurt, all in the name of protecting myself from him hurting me again. But in the end, I don’t know him. Not in any meaningful way. He has closed off that part of himself, hurt much worse by parents far more negligent and vindictive than mine.
When he found out that I was a vegetarian, he learned some vegetarian recipes to try out while I was here. My initial assumption has been that, despite the nice gesture towards me, it is more a reflection of his desire to be seen as a father who cares. But then I realized tonight, while he was trying his best to make falafel for the first time, that he had no audience but me. So, maybe it was a show for me, but the result is the same — he wanted me to see that he cared enough to do it.
This trip, I’ve set aside the storytelling for a bit. I’ve let that fortitude that has kept me safe soften a bit for the first time in many, many years. I allowed my dad a bit of grace, all while still maintaining my boundaries and keeping my heart safe.
So, when I say this movie moved me to tears, it is partially true. The film has excellent performances and a deep empathy at its heart. You probably figured out the ‘who’ of the whodunnit early on if you watched the movie. But the finale makes it clear that it’s the ‘why’ that gives it all meaning.
Of course, I have my critiques: Jeffrey Wright gets nothing to do, the movie is far too long, and some of the Trump allegory was a bit on-the-nose. But in terms of care and craftsmanship, this might be my favorite of the Knives Out, even if it isn’t the best.