Hooptober XII | 24/31 | Any film from this list
Ah, NYC, gateway to the West. Josh Baker, a comic book artist for Marvel Comics, is on the way to lunch with a friend when he spots that woman again (who we later learn is named Cheryl). He’s gotta talk to her. He tries a line—Cheryl isn’t interested, and she’s trying to get to a doctor’s appointment. She’s been feeling off all day and is diabetic.
I have met creepier guys than you. I just can't recall when.
Across the street, a limo window rolls down. It’s Victor Newman from The Young and the Restless. What’s he doing here? Cheryl gets dizzy and collapses on the ground. Victor calls for an ambulance from his car phone. Josh promises to stay with her, but the ambulance arrives. He tries to get her last name so he can find her, but they close the door, so he promises to see her after work. Josh asks his boss, Stan Lee, if he can get off early to see her. He tries St. Francis and Roosevelt, but no one has any record of her coming in. It doesn’t help that he doesn’t know her last name.
Out of leads, Josh goes to the police and speaks with Lieutenant Frank Spencer, who gives a diatribe on how “whacked out” comics are these days, preferring the days of Archie. Josh provides the lieutenant with a drawing of Cheryl and the ambulance, the former of which the lieutenant says looks like Veronica, and the latter of which he notes is exceptionally old to still be in operation.
Desperate, Josh takes his drawing of Cheryl out on the streets, asking if anyone has seen her. Cheryl’s roommate, who also has diabetes, confronts Josh after wondering where Cheryl is, too. The roommate calls their apartment and finds a message on the answering machine from Cheryl with a place and time and a directive not to involve the police. But Josh isn’t a police officer, so he tags along. Josh waits outside while the roommate goes in. She cries out, and Josh sees the ambulance speed off with the roommate inside.
We see Cheryl tied down in some makeshift medical setup, and Victor is there as her doctor. She screams, and she hears several others cry out for help.
— You're going to kill me, aren't you? — Why, yes, but I promise you, you're gonna be in perfect health before you die.
Larry Cohen’s always capturing NYC in his specific way, making movies about, among other things, all the weirdos in New York. Every character has that “fuck you” energy. This movie kicks off at a manic pace and doesn’t let up. It has some of the most unique set pieces.
What a great time!
Stray Thoughts / Spoilers
- Larry Cohen made this movie because he wanted to turn something benevolent into something sinister. Little did he know that by 2025, most people would already see an ambulance as sinister, since most folks can’t afford to take one.
- Stan Lee’s first appearance as himself.
- This movie has Eric Roberts’ best on-screen performance by a mile.
- Victor Newman got cast because Cohen’s mother, a Young and the Restless fan, suggested him.
- Officer Malloy reminds Lt. Spencer of his dental appointment, and Spencer freaks out that she knew about it before he did.
- Sinister green light.
- The score has that terrific late-80s/early-90s groove, with wild saxophones and slapping bass lines.
- The Dr. Strong comic is dull, even by Marvel standards.
- A mid-day piña colada. And as a person with diabetes, no less!
- “Florence Night-en-mare”
- — “What are you doing out of bed?” — “My Jane Fonda workout.”
- Red Buttons, who plays Elias Zacharai, has the best quips.
- “What a shitty time to get mugged.”
- “I killed myself!”
- “I admit it, I’m no good at faces. But this guy, he looks exactly like Jughead.”
- — “Oh shit!” — “No, piss!”
- — “Mister, take it easy, we got an ambulance coming.” — “Fuck. You.”