This movie was watched as part of a RiffTrax commentary.
Woo doggy, this script is amazingly clunky. The film has a fun premise, but the structure and dialogue are messy.
I appreciate that the archaeologist brought reference books — it’s not exciting to watch, but it’s more believable than recognizing every symbol and artifact on sight. Too bad literally every other person has this power.
TECHNICALLY, this is a Christmas movie.
- These are minions? They don’t look anything like those memes my aunt sends me.
- Bones? Skull? Yep, it’s a skeleton alright.
- He’s not Celtic, he’s a Celtics fan.
- Who said that? Who were they talking to? Who were they talking about?
- Aaand I instantly regret kissing the ancient sewer key.
- I guess Dolph gave him second-to-last rites.
- God’s other son, Chad of Nazareth.
- A guy on a prison toilet could be the Minion.
- You’re the Cleveland Browns of evil!
- — Don’t tempt me, demon! — That’s what I say when the waiter brings the dessert menu.
- I’m a carving of Terry O’Quinn now.