Bond, Ranked Bond: The Cold War’s Horniest Spy
Stray Thoughts / Spoilers
- Straight away, too much makeup was on Connery’s face.
- Oh, never mind, it’s supposed to be a mask.
- 00 of 007 over tinsel-bedecked boobs. Nice.
- The chess game on the board is legit! Why did black throw the game, though?
- ?’s white kitty is perfect. I could not focus on the dialogue when she was on screen.
- Tatiana Romanova
- Sylvia Trench is back! I didn’t realize they tried to have continuity in early Bond films.
- Bond creams his jeans at the photo of Tatiana Romanova.
- The briefcase! Finally, some dumb Bond tech.
- Coffee, medium sweet — a Turkish coffee designation for how much sugar to brew it with
- “Gypsy blood feuds” — that’s a yikes.
- At least Bond gets to fuck both of the fighters.
- Woah, a full-fledged butt shot!
- This movie is exponentially hornier than Dr. No. I’m not mad.
- “James, will you make love to me all the time in England?” she says into the spy recording.
- The askew portrait of Lenin
- Bombing? No problem. Sewer rats? Get the hell out of there.
- Of course, it makes sense to put a spy in a négligée.
- Robert Shaw’s English accent is so absurd I thought he was faking it
- A helicopter AND a boat chase? That double budget paid off.
- “There’s a saying in England: ‘When there’s smoke, there’s fire.’”
- — “Horrible woman.” — “Yes, she’s had her kicks.” SMASH CUT TO BIRDS.
- A disembodied hand waves goodbye to a sex tape. THE END.